Choosing A Couple's Counselor

If you are having problems with your partner, first of all, don't fret. No matter how perfect a relationship or marriage appears from the outside, you have to understand that every couple has its rough spots. Thus, if you find that you and your partner are having frequent friction instead of the smooth sailing you expect, don't think that there is something inherently and insurmountably wrong with your relationship. Instead, understand that as frail humans, we all have a the need for expert help from time to time. 

Philosophy Matching

There are many worldviews out there, and who's to say which is the correct one? Counselors may be experts in helping couples work through rough patches, but just because a counselor subscribes to a different worldview than you do, their choice is not necessarily a better one. Thus, when you are looking for a counselor, you should ask each candidate about their chosen philosophy. Finding a counselor who shares your same basic philosophy can help you find someone who will help you deal with your issues according to your own worldview.

Experience and Training

Not every counselor or therapist is equipped for couples counseling. For example, if you find a single elementary school counselor who occasionally takes on couples as clients, you don't necessarily get someone who has the experience necessary to understand what couples go through. Reading about the struggles of a marriage in a book and going to seminars on couples counseling is not the same thing as being emerged in couples counseling. Thus, you should ask potential counselors about their training and background until you find someone with the right experience.


When you select a counselor, you will not walk away with a magic repair that will make all of your troubles vaporize. Instead, you go to a trusted guide who can help you to find safe passage through marriage quagmires. While guides can point out a safe path, you still have to follow the path. This may require you to wade through troubled emotional waters, delicate topics, and/or issues you would rather ignore. Stay the course, and you should come through stronger and better-equipped for handling similar problems in the future. 

If you find that you and your spouse have a need for counseling, the two keys to remember are 1) All counselors are not cut from the same cloth, so feel free to interview counselors until you find one that you can trust; and 2) Once you choose your counselor, have the courage and resolve to try new ways of approaching your relationship. In this way, you have the best hope of not only saving but improving your partnership.

For more information, contact a professional counseling service, like Drake Counseling Services, for additional answers to questions you may have.