Finding out that someone you care about is ill can be difficult. When the illness is a personality disorder, maintaining stability in your relationship can be especially challenging. If you are dating someone with a personality disorder, here are three things you can do to help create stability within your relationship.
1. Make specific plans when spending time together.
Individuals with personality disorders often suffer from a phenomenon known as object constancy. This means that your loved one might have a difficult time remembering that you care about him or her when you are apart, or your loved one might have a difficult time seeing you as trustworthy.
By making very specific plans for your time together (like scheduling a specific time for dinner, the movie, and the conclusion of the date), and then sticking to those plans, you show your partner that you can be trusted. This will help increase your partner's sense of object constancy, and create stability in your relationship.
2. Encourage your partner to write down his or her thoughts when you aren't together.
Stress and negativity can derail someone with a personality disorder away from their normal train of thought. When this happens, your partner might begin jumping to conclusions about your behavior.
For example, if you take some time to go to the gym alone, then your partner may jump to the conclusion that you are meeting someone new. By having your partner write down these thoughts in a journal, and then being open to discussing them when you are together again, you can help to establish trust and stability in your relationship by showing your partner that their assumptions are unfounded.
3. Encourage your partner to maintain a network of friends and family outside your relationship.
A relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder can turn into a codependent relationship if the individual fails to maintain a network of friends and family members outside the relationship.
By encouraging your partner to work on his or her relationships with others, you can help limit some of the symptoms of codependency within your relationship. This will help to create more stability within your relationship in the future.
Dating someone with a personality disorder can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be impossible. Being willing to increase stability within your relationship by making specific plans, having your partner keep a journal of their feelings, and encouraging your partner to maintain relationships with others will give you the ability to become more secure in your own relationship.Share